An evening with DG

I didn’t understand why there is an ‘A’ mark after the name “Dhobi Ghat”. It’s generally used if there are violence or sex scenes in the film. May be this is the first time that I saw a film with an ‘A’ mark that actually means below 18 years people don’t have the maturity to understand. The Film is not for so called adults, it’s for adult thinkers.

The film inspired me to buy a camera that I was planning for long. Prateek and Monica are the assets of this film. Aamir is always Aamir. So natural. So spontaneous. The Dhobi, The rat killer, munna, his sentiments, jealousy, love all are so prominent. So natural.

Kriti is so innocent. Her story was kind of a graph that comes downwards and ended with euthanasia.  A girl with lots of hope and dreams came to Mumbai and spends her lonely times with her handy cam and recording a video for her brother that was unsent.

I am still overwhelmed by the movie. No masala, no item songs, no such dialogues, only acting and video-graphy made this film so special. The film has no proper end. And that reminds me the definition of ‘Short Story’ by Tagore – “Antare atripti robe…sango kori mone hobe..sesh hoe hoilo na sesh”.

I am happy about what I have

It’s very natural to think about those things that we don’t have. We, the mango people, always repent that why I didn’t get this, why not that? And the list grows with time. Demand and supply ratio increases inverse proportionately day by day and frustration comes in action. Frustration actually works as a positive catalyst to increase the gap of this demand and supply.

So I decided that I won’t count about the things that I don’t have. Rather I’ll look after those things that I have and preserve them with great care so that those things always stay with me. Now, things don’t mean that they are only non leaving things. It may be a person, a relation, some achievements, some goals or some thoughts.

1.      Family:  My parents. They are so special. Some people say (When they are madly in love with somebody) that I can leave my parents for him/her. My personal feelings regarding this is if a person can leave (better to say go against) his/her parents for 2-3 years’ relationship, he/she can break any relationship in future. I admire my parents. And I’ll never leave them for anybody or anything. Sawal hi paida nehi hota.

2.      A home: Home Sweet Home. Whenever I see some of my friends are concerned about buying a flat, and they are calculating about home loans, interest rates, I take a deep breath and thank to god that I have my own house. At least if something wrong happens to me, my parents have a roof over their head.

3.      A Job: Some of my friends are still in search for a job. At least I have one. For my friends, getting job is just a matter of time. But still I feel happy for myself that after having so much of ups and downs I got the job with a small software firm. And recently I got promotion. Yeeeee. My life’s first promotion. I was very happy when I got that letter.

4.      Quality Friends: My friend circle is very small. And I am very choosy about my friends and I am fortunate enough that I got quality friends. When I was in trouble, frustrated they stood by me. And I believe they always stand by me when ever I need them.

5.      A Bike: Yes, that’s an achievement actually. My first two wheeler that I bought with my own earnings (I had a cycle before presented by my aunty). Though the back seat of my bike is still searching someone but I feel happy when ride and go for trips. It was a dream that came true.

6.      A Guitar: It may seem like I am just increasing my count with such things, but believe me, these are very special to me. I am not a good guitarist. I just love to play guitar for myself. After all my work, when I sit with it and stroke the strings, I feel like heaven.

7.      Some Dreams: This is common for all. Everybody have some dreams. I am not an exception. But I don’t have some sky high dreams. Not all dreams I gonna share but one. I just want my salary to touch Rs. 2501 daily. It’s only because the girl I loved most left me saying that her new boy friend’s daily income is Rs. 2500. Freaky? Let it be.

8.      Peace of Mind: At least I can sleep properly at night. No night mare can now wake me up. This is I feel the most important thing that I’ll hate to loose. I love my sleep 3 much.

List is not too small. I am happy with it. There are some more that I haven’t mentioned. But yes what I learned from my experiences is its better to think what you have than you don’t have.

Antel + Aami = Aantlami

-          Aboseshe ami klanto holam.

-          Aaj ghum asbe na… aakash ta khub sundar lagche janla diye..

-          Kal sokale office ache na? Ghumo ekhuni..

-          Shon kono dosh nei valo basa basite..

-          Tor jonno likhte pari ek prithibi.

-          Aar katodin baba-r ghare bose khabi.. lojja hoe? Naki setao kheye niechis?

-          Cinema ta eto boaring… Kintu tui paase chili bole kharap lage ni…

-          Tui kothay?? Jakhan amar toke sobchaye besi darker chilo…kothay chili?

-          Ar ami jakhan toke akre dhorte chayechilam…

-          Bristi te vijte amar besh lage… Vijbi ekdin aamar sathe?

-          Nyakamo maris na… Sob kichur ekta limit ache…

-          Eto chesta koreo toke vangte parlam na keno bol to?

-          E aamar protisodh… Revgenge.

-          Tui ar firbi na, nare?

-          Aamake ‘use’ korli eivabe?? Ki kore parli?

-          Ma, chakri ta hoe geche…

-          Ma, aaj aamar promotion hoeche…

-          Aamar chele hoeche… biye to eli na… chele ke dekhe jas ekbar.

-          Next month e aamar biye… ami sesh muhurto porjonto wait korbo…

-          Ei ekla ghar aamar desh…Aamar ekla thakar avyes..

-          Veja pothghat veja parkstreet, vijchi aamra ankei…meghe meghe Dhaka aakashe ami khujbo sudhu tokei…

-          Ekta ghar, ekta buk, vison miss korchi…

-          Chal saala, Nautanki??

Suryasto

Anekdin, anekdin dhore vebe cholechi kichu likhi. Lekhar somoy o prachur. Ki likhbo tai vebe pacchi na kichutei. Anek ghatona..but elomelo..agochalo. Guchiye bolte na prale ekta ghatonar sathe arektar link khuje pawa jae na… Aatlami hok ektu.. jemon office theke bus e kore ferar somoy lal ronger aakash ta dekhi ar surjo takhon paharer pechone much lukocche… ekdom lal ekta thala. Vison sundar lage. Saradin er office er klanti chole jae. Sondhya name. Flat e dhuki. Rojnamcha sere abosar e ek cup coffiee hath e nite 1 ghanta periye jae. Tatokkhane sandhya neme paharer buke alo jwale utheche. TV dekhte valo lage na. puro pahar ta ekta ekta alo bindu te puro chaye jae..seta dekhi. Mobile ph ta niye majhe majhe purono msg gulo ghata ghati kora ar coffie cup e chumuk. Purono message  porte baro valo lage..- “Abhik, toke chere kakhono jabo na. Toke chere thakte parbo na.” “Abhik, tui shunle kasto pabi..ami anya karor preme porechi..” emon e aro anek anek msg. Aamar kache save kora. Suryodoy theke suryasto. Suryasto aamar kache amar vanga ghare ferar somoy.

Aatlami sesh.  Ei lekha ta jakhan likhchi takhon ekta mail elo. Co-incident. Jeta bolbo bole vabchilam seta e emon sundar kore chole elo tai ar nijer kotha sajate iche korlo na..Mail says – “A wise man once sat in the audience & cracked a joke. All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time. He cracked the same joke again & again, When there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said "When u can't laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over and over again. 'Forget the past & move on' ...”

Monday Blues



It’s the 9^th day that I haven’t talked to her. Did not listen to her voice. Not even a single Hello. Now at this point of time I have no idea why I am thinking all these. It’s all over. She is no more. Even if I want also, I cannot say a hello to her. I cannot hear her smile, her weep, her full day story. But few months back also it was very hard for me to spend a single day without talking to her. I generally speak very less. But I love to hear her non-stop words, never ending topics, some childish thoughts, some dreams, some frustrations, and some meaning less talk. I used to accept my defeat in front of her while we were discussing on a serious topic. I used to feel very happy when she used to ask for a decision. Time changes so fast. Life changes in a second. Just one second, and I came to know that she is no more. I was stunned. I was shocked. I was for a while out of this world. I don’t know why sometimes I can hear a voice from a corner of my mind that “Are you trying to forget me?” I look here and there assuming that I can catch the voice and never let it go. But I cannot. Neither I can catch the voice nor catch her again. I am sitting at my cubical now. Lot of memories is passing by my mind and I am still living in memories. I often ask god, was it really needed? No answer from him.

Thursday Thoughts

For long time I was thinking to have a short trip. And after a long long time me and my roomies are actually planning for a trip of two days. My mom also planned a trip with her friends. Today morning, I called up my mom and said, “Ma, Please arrange the money for your trip. This month I couldn’t arrange that”. Mom said its completely alright. But I know its not. I usually call my mom twice a day. First, before getting up into the office bus, and last when I am almost ready to sleep at night. So while I was coming by bus to my office, I was thinking that am I a good son? Am I fulfilling my responsibilities to my parents? And I got the answer. Answer is No. I try hard. But I fail. Sometime I blame time, sometime god, sometime myself. But practically no-body should be blamed. Second thought that came to my mind that should I go for the trip? My mom may be cancelling her. Still not decided. Still I am in dilemma. Should I be responsible enough or should I be selfish…

I love to be an Egoist

Ego. The thing that every people have within themselves. Some people agree to accept some deny. I hate to tell lie or you can say I can accept things very clearly. So I can proudly announce that I have ego. Sometimes it becomes rock hard…sometimes I can manage to overcome. If it sounded like a disease let me tell you, it is a disease. Like appendix that we all have. Thanks to medical science that if appendix causes problems then we can simply cut it out from our body. But as ego is attached to our mind no medical science, nothing can cut it out.

Being a 27 years old guy I am not so much hammered by this disease, but yes, I have seen some ego clash in some of my friends’ life. I am not gonna disclose their names over here. But truly, I have learned a lot from their experiences.

1^st incident: I was in class XII. One of my friends (who is not so much talented in studies, short height, good looking) fell in love with a beautiful girl who is very talented in studies and also a very good dancer (Dancing is becoming a common qualification among my lady friends). It was few months before the board exam. Once in a meeting I asked her, what if my friend could not do well in the board exam…cause I was pretty sure that she is gonna earn good percentage. She replied confidently that result was not gonna be a matter in case of their relationship. Exam was over and a long 3 months vacation made their relationship strong. Then it was result time. Result said that the girl scored 81% and my friend failed. Failed to pass the exam as well as failed to hide his result in front of his girl friend. The girl went to other place for higher studies saying that she will always be right beside my friend. Only a month after my friend got a call from her that she got a new guy over there and she wanted a break-up. My friend cried. Cried for his destiny. Cried for the girl he loved. But tears cannot rejoin a relationship (Rather ignorance can). That day I realized how ego played a role over them. Its only because of ego, the girl could not accept my friend. May be its practicality. May be its life. But I call it ego-clash.

2^nd Incident: Recent story. Not so much old. Again one of my friends. Again his love relationship. He was committed to a girl for 3 years and 163 days (BTW he is very passionate about dates and good in counting…I some how felt how can it be possible…yak). They maintained a long distance relationship for around one half years (thanks god he could not remind the exact figure). Suddenly few days back he realized that his girl-friend was sounding little unknown. He overlooked. He trusted. But after few days he got a call from his girlfriend and came to know that she found somebody else who is tall handsome and with a good pocket. When my friend was telling me the story, he started like “I was defeated by 2 inches”. That actually means my friend is 5 ft 10 inch and the guy his girlfriend choose was 6 ft. BTW, finding another person, being in a relationship is very common I think. Now the story doesn’t end here. My friend still loves the girl. And the new relationship that the girl started, ended already. Now she wants him back. She wants to rejoin the relationship. I thought my friend should be glad to get her girl back, but here comes the disease. Here comes ego. My friend is not able to accept the girl because, his mind is saying that if a person can cheat/dump once, she can do it twice also. He often asks me “Should I listen to my mind or should I listen to my heart?” I know what he tries to tell. If he follows his heart now, he is gonna accept the girl. Ego will kill them slowly but steadily.

There are a lot of stories like these that I faced. Only two of them already made the topic lengthy. So in short, whenever you are asking to yourself that “Hey buddy, don’t you have self respect?” or “How can you tolerate these kinds of bullshits?” it means your ego is asking you whether you wanna be effected by the disease or not. But if you ask me that would I prefer to be an egoist…I’ll say yes. Because if something is reminding me about my self-respect, how can I ignore that?

Lastly, its starting of a new year. Time to take New Year resolutions. So here are my resolutions. I will quit smoking, I won’t look at a girl, I won’t say/listen bad, and most important I’ll break all the resolutions that I made just now.