Suryasto

Anekdin, anekdin dhore vebe cholechi kichu likhi. Lekhar somoy o prachur. Ki likhbo tai vebe pacchi na kichutei. Anek ghatona..but elomelo..agochalo. Guchiye bolte na prale ekta ghatonar sathe arektar link khuje pawa jae na… Aatlami hok ektu.. jemon office theke bus e kore ferar somoy lal ronger aakash ta dekhi ar surjo takhon paharer pechone much lukocche… ekdom lal ekta thala. Vison sundar lage. Saradin er office er klanti chole jae. Sondhya name. Flat e dhuki. Rojnamcha sere abosar e ek cup coffiee hath e nite 1 ghanta periye jae. Tatokkhane sandhya neme paharer buke alo jwale utheche. TV dekhte valo lage na. puro pahar ta ekta ekta alo bindu te puro chaye jae..seta dekhi. Mobile ph ta niye majhe majhe purono msg gulo ghata ghati kora ar coffie cup e chumuk. Purono message  porte baro valo lage..- “Abhik, toke chere kakhono jabo na. Toke chere thakte parbo na.” “Abhik, tui shunle kasto pabi..ami anya karor preme porechi..” emon e aro anek anek msg. Aamar kache save kora. Suryodoy theke suryasto. Suryasto aamar kache amar vanga ghare ferar somoy.

Aatlami sesh.  Ei lekha ta jakhan likhchi takhon ekta mail elo. Co-incident. Jeta bolbo bole vabchilam seta e emon sundar kore chole elo tai ar nijer kotha sajate iche korlo na..Mail says – “A wise man once sat in the audience & cracked a joke. All laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again and a little less people laughed this time. He cracked the same joke again & again, When there was no laughter in the crowd, he smiled and said "When u can't laugh on the same joke again & again, then why do u keep crying over the same thing over and over again. 'Forget the past & move on' ...”

Monday Blues



It’s the 9^th day that I haven’t talked to her. Did not listen to her voice. Not even a single Hello. Now at this point of time I have no idea why I am thinking all these. It’s all over. She is no more. Even if I want also, I cannot say a hello to her. I cannot hear her smile, her weep, her full day story. But few months back also it was very hard for me to spend a single day without talking to her. I generally speak very less. But I love to hear her non-stop words, never ending topics, some childish thoughts, some dreams, some frustrations, and some meaning less talk. I used to accept my defeat in front of her while we were discussing on a serious topic. I used to feel very happy when she used to ask for a decision. Time changes so fast. Life changes in a second. Just one second, and I came to know that she is no more. I was stunned. I was shocked. I was for a while out of this world. I don’t know why sometimes I can hear a voice from a corner of my mind that “Are you trying to forget me?” I look here and there assuming that I can catch the voice and never let it go. But I cannot. Neither I can catch the voice nor catch her again. I am sitting at my cubical now. Lot of memories is passing by my mind and I am still living in memories. I often ask god, was it really needed? No answer from him.

Thursday Thoughts

For long time I was thinking to have a short trip. And after a long long time me and my roomies are actually planning for a trip of two days. My mom also planned a trip with her friends. Today morning, I called up my mom and said, “Ma, Please arrange the money for your trip. This month I couldn’t arrange that”. Mom said its completely alright. But I know its not. I usually call my mom twice a day. First, before getting up into the office bus, and last when I am almost ready to sleep at night. So while I was coming by bus to my office, I was thinking that am I a good son? Am I fulfilling my responsibilities to my parents? And I got the answer. Answer is No. I try hard. But I fail. Sometime I blame time, sometime god, sometime myself. But practically no-body should be blamed. Second thought that came to my mind that should I go for the trip? My mom may be cancelling her. Still not decided. Still I am in dilemma. Should I be responsible enough or should I be selfish…

I love to be an Egoist

Ego. The thing that every people have within themselves. Some people agree to accept some deny. I hate to tell lie or you can say I can accept things very clearly. So I can proudly announce that I have ego. Sometimes it becomes rock hard…sometimes I can manage to overcome. If it sounded like a disease let me tell you, it is a disease. Like appendix that we all have. Thanks to medical science that if appendix causes problems then we can simply cut it out from our body. But as ego is attached to our mind no medical science, nothing can cut it out.

Being a 27 years old guy I am not so much hammered by this disease, but yes, I have seen some ego clash in some of my friends’ life. I am not gonna disclose their names over here. But truly, I have learned a lot from their experiences.

1^st incident: I was in class XII. One of my friends (who is not so much talented in studies, short height, good looking) fell in love with a beautiful girl who is very talented in studies and also a very good dancer (Dancing is becoming a common qualification among my lady friends). It was few months before the board exam. Once in a meeting I asked her, what if my friend could not do well in the board exam…cause I was pretty sure that she is gonna earn good percentage. She replied confidently that result was not gonna be a matter in case of their relationship. Exam was over and a long 3 months vacation made their relationship strong. Then it was result time. Result said that the girl scored 81% and my friend failed. Failed to pass the exam as well as failed to hide his result in front of his girl friend. The girl went to other place for higher studies saying that she will always be right beside my friend. Only a month after my friend got a call from her that she got a new guy over there and she wanted a break-up. My friend cried. Cried for his destiny. Cried for the girl he loved. But tears cannot rejoin a relationship (Rather ignorance can). That day I realized how ego played a role over them. Its only because of ego, the girl could not accept my friend. May be its practicality. May be its life. But I call it ego-clash.

2^nd Incident: Recent story. Not so much old. Again one of my friends. Again his love relationship. He was committed to a girl for 3 years and 163 days (BTW he is very passionate about dates and good in counting…I some how felt how can it be possible…yak). They maintained a long distance relationship for around one half years (thanks god he could not remind the exact figure). Suddenly few days back he realized that his girl-friend was sounding little unknown. He overlooked. He trusted. But after few days he got a call from his girlfriend and came to know that she found somebody else who is tall handsome and with a good pocket. When my friend was telling me the story, he started like “I was defeated by 2 inches”. That actually means my friend is 5 ft 10 inch and the guy his girlfriend choose was 6 ft. BTW, finding another person, being in a relationship is very common I think. Now the story doesn’t end here. My friend still loves the girl. And the new relationship that the girl started, ended already. Now she wants him back. She wants to rejoin the relationship. I thought my friend should be glad to get her girl back, but here comes the disease. Here comes ego. My friend is not able to accept the girl because, his mind is saying that if a person can cheat/dump once, she can do it twice also. He often asks me “Should I listen to my mind or should I listen to my heart?” I know what he tries to tell. If he follows his heart now, he is gonna accept the girl. Ego will kill them slowly but steadily.

There are a lot of stories like these that I faced. Only two of them already made the topic lengthy. So in short, whenever you are asking to yourself that “Hey buddy, don’t you have self respect?” or “How can you tolerate these kinds of bullshits?” it means your ego is asking you whether you wanna be effected by the disease or not. But if you ask me that would I prefer to be an egoist…I’ll say yes. Because if something is reminding me about my self-respect, how can I ignore that?

Lastly, its starting of a new year. Time to take New Year resolutions. So here are my resolutions. I will quit smoking, I won’t look at a girl, I won’t say/listen bad, and most important I’ll break all the resolutions that I made just now.

I am a Poetry Freak

There are lots of writers who only write poetries for their beloved ones or for themselves. But from my own experience, I felt that poetries based on tragedy are touchier than comedy. By definition roughly Tragedy means where hero and heroine are failed to patch up where as comedy means happy endings like 90% of boring Hindi movies have.

If you ask me, that do you know what is sonnet, Acrostic, Ballad, Blank Verse, Epigram, Haiku or Pindaric ode, I’ll tell you please find the definitions in Google. I don’t need to understand what kind of poetry is this, rather I’ll enjoy by simply reading it. With my very short understandings and little imaginations if I can make out the meaning of the poetry, I am happy enough. I am not a vast reader. But yes, I read a lot of poetries written by some of my friends or friend’s of friends. Here I am gonna share some of those which I found interesting. I am not a good translator so I am not gonna translate those. Another reason is because I don’t wanna reduce the charm of them by sub-titles.

The first poetry that I found very interesting is written by one of my childhood friends Manini Mukherjee when she was in Class IX. Here it is:

অনেক কাতুকুতু দিচ্ছ বসন্ত,

আমরা তবুও হাসছি না-

ফুলের ই-মেল এ বলছো ভালোবাসা,

তবুও ভালোবাসছি না।

পাঠালে পারসেল পলাশ হোলসেল,

বলছো এটাকেই মদন বান-

পলাশ পেরে নিয়ে বাতাসে ঝেরে দিয়ে,

ভিডিও হলে ঢুকে শাহরুখ খান।

ফালতু ফুলরাশি বাতাসে যাবে ভাসি,

এসবে আমার কোনো সিন ই নেই-

বরং শোনো হওয়া আমার চোট খাওয়া

হৃদয়ে বসন্ত দিন ই নেই।

<For those people who are unable to read because of bengali font: >

  (Thanks to Pracheta, who knocked me regarding this issue.)

  Font = English:

"Anek katukutu diccho basanto,

Aamra tabuo haschi na-

Fuler e-mail e bolcho valobasa-

Tabuo valo baschi na.

Pathale parcel polash wholesale..

Bolcho etakei madan baan..

Palash pere niye batashe jhere diye-

Video hall e dhuke sahrukh khan.

Faltu fulrashi, batashe jabe vasi..

  Esob e aamar kono scene e nei..

Barong shono haoa aamar chot khaoa hridoye..

basanta din e nei. "

When one of my classmates proposed her and she denied, I asked her why? She told me I’ll tell you later. After few days she gave me a piece of paper where I found this. The tragedy is, I have shared this poetry with many of my friends and some of them liked in such a way that they can recite it. But once I went for a movie (Movie was NAMESAKE, I can remember it clearly) with one of my friends and after that when we were just chatting, sitting on the lawn at Nandan (one of my favorite places in Kolkata), she asked me write this in her diary. I wrote with pleasure. It was during the last days of my college. After that she moved to Mumbai for Job. Few months latter I heard that she returned Kolkata and while going to her relative’s house she got an accident. She is no more. I never shared this poetry to anybody after that. I couldn’t. You may ask, then why you are sharing it over here? – I don’t know.

Second one that I am gonna share, I forgot the name of the writer. I got it from a community in Orkut. I loved the concept. Here it is:

একটা যদি বৃত্ত আঁকি

বিন্দু থেকে শুরু করে-

ঘুরতে ঘুরতে শেষটুকুটা

শুরুর সাথে দিলাম জুড়ে।

কিসের ছবি? কি দেব নাম?

নানান জনের নানান কথা-

তুমি বলবে শূন্য ওটা,

আমি বলব "পূর্নতা"।

Font = English:

“Ekta Jodi britto anki-

Bindu the shuru kore-

Ghurte ghurte sesh tukuta-

Shuru-r sathe dilam jure.

Kiser chobi..? ki debo naam..?

Nana joner nana kotha..

Tumi bolbe Shunno ota-

Ami bolbo “Purnota”.

It is kind of finding everything from nothing. Kind of positive attitude and written in a very brief and crispy manner. One of the shortest and finest poetry I have ever read.

Third and forth are from one of my childhood friend Kallol Sarkar. He believed that until and unless you are shocked or dumped, you cannot write. He just got married few days back. 7 years of Love story at last got its happy ending. I hardly saw him fighting with his girlfriend (Very rare na?). Next one that I am gonna share was written by him, when he was just fallen in love.  It was class XI. 

লিখছি তোমায় জানি না তুমি

পাবে নাকি এই লেখা-

তুমি শু্য়ে আছো সাদা বিছানায়

আমি জ্বলে মরি একা।

জ্বলছে স্মৃতি জ্বলছে স্বপ্ন

জ্বলছে সকল চাওয়া-

কি পেয়েছি হিসেব রাখিনি

অধরা তোমাকে পাওয়া।

সব পাবো বলে ভিজে ঝড় জলে

খুজে বেরিয়েছি তোমায়,

রাতের তারারা নিরবে শুধু

উপহাস করে আমায়।

উপহাস গুলো সয়ে যেতে রাজি

যদি বলো তুমি আজো আছো পাশে-

বলতে পারিনা কেন এই মন

আজো তোমাকে এত ভালোবাসে।

বলতে পারিনা স্বপ্নেরা কবে

পারি জমিয়েছে কোন অজানায়,

বলতে পারিনা পথের বাঁকের

স্মৃতি গুলো কাদে, কোন তাড়নায়।

বলতে পারিনা আজো মন কেনো

খুজে ফেরে তোমার ঠিকানা-

মন কি বোঝেনা

স্বপ্নেরা ফেরে, স্বপ্ন যে দেখায় সে ফেরেনা।

Font = English: 

Likhchi tomay janina

Tumi pabe naki lekha..

Tumi shue acho sada bichanae

Ami jwale mori eka.

Jwalche smriti jwalche swapno

jwalche sakal chaoa..

Ki payechi hiseb rakhini..

Adhora tomake paoa..

Sob pabo bole vije jhar jal e

Khuje beriyechi tomay..

Raater tara ra nirobe sudhu..

Upohas kore aamay.

Upohaas gulo soye jete raaji

Jodi bolo tumi ajo acho pashe

Bolte parina kano ei mon

Aajo tomake eto bhalobase

Bolte parina swapnera kobe

Paari jomiyeche kon ojanaay

Bolte parina poth-er baank-er

Smriti-gulo kaade kor taronaay

Bolte parina ajo mon kano

Khuje fere tomar thikana

Mon ki bojhena

Swapnera fere, swapno j dekhay se fere na..

You know what, because of this hectic corporate life he had to go to UK, leaving behind his newly married wife. It was the 6^th day of their marriage when he had to go. Poor girl. She must be missing his hubby as my friend misses his wify.  While talking to him through mail he gave me the following poetry saying that it is based on one of his friend’s life (Lucky friend).

যা ছিলো সব হিসেব শেষ

জলের দাগের হালকা রেশ

শরীর জুড়ে-

পথ নিলো বাঁক এমন কেনো

ক্যানভাস টাও ঝাপসা যেনো

হঠাত করে।

সন্চয় তে টান পরে রোজ

রন্গীন স্বপ্ন হঠাত নিখোজ

প্রায় খুজি তাই-

সব স্মৃতি তোর এই শহরে

শিশির ভেজা ভীষন ভোরে

চল হেটে যাই।

মন পেয়েছে নতুন ঘর

কম-দামি প্রেম রাত্রি-ভোর

বিবেক হাসে-

রাত্রি জাগে আরেক দিকে

যে মানুষ টা ভীষন তোকে

ভালোবাসে।

আকাশ মেশে নীলের সাথে

একবার হাথ রাখনা হাথে

বৃষ্টি হবো-

ঝরব ভীষন অঝোর ধারে

যেমন করে ঝরলে পরে

তোকেই পাবো।

Font = English:

Ja chilo sob hiseb sesh

Jol-er daag-er halka resh

Sorir-jurey

Poth nilo baank emon kano

Canvas tao jhapsha jeno

Hotath kore

Sonchoy-ete taan pore roj

Rongin swapno hotath nikhoj

Pray khuji taai,

Sob smriti tor ei sohor-e

Shishir-bheja bhishon bhore

Chal hete jaai...

Mon peyeche notun ghor

Kom-daami prem raatri-bhor

Bibek haase..

Raatri jaage aarek dike

J manush-ta bhishon toke

Bhalobase..

Aakash meshe neel-er sathe

Ekbaar haath rakhna haath-e

Brishti hobo;

Jhorbo bhishon ajhor dhare

Jemon kore jhorle pore

Tokei pabo...........

There are three more persons whom I really admire for their writings. But at this moment I don’t have any poetry of them in hand. So cannot share. But what I can share their names. Thanks to Priyam Sengupta (Childhood friend, guitarist, fast bowler, awesome writer…So many qualifications), Rai (Again a childhood friend, classical dancer, singer) and Diya Chatterjee (Friend, Awesome Dancer, journalist).  

May be it’s gonna be wrong if I compare my friends to a well known writer who is specially known for his “Maye-bela” (Childhood days) series. But as this is my den, so I can do whatever I like. Just wanna share some lines from Taslima Nasreen that I realy liked:

এতটা কিশোরী নই, যতটা ছিলাম আগে-

এতটা বৃদ্ধা নই, যতটা আমি হব-

তোমার ছোয়ায় যদি শরীর জাগে-

তুমি যে হও, যেই হও-

শোব।

Font = English

Etota kishori noi, jatota chilam age-

Etota briddha noi, jatota ami habo-

Tomar choaye Jodi sharer jage-

Tumi je hao, Jei hao –

Shobo.