To whom I was concerned

Adda lekha ghoraghuri..

Buk pocket e kejo nuri..

Mobile e tring tring - kori

Silent.

Bike e chepe long tour..

Jhar brishti roddur..

Message elo - "Phone dhor. Its

Urgent".

Sai-tirish ta missed call..

Moner majhe kolahol..

Phone dhorlei ek-guccho

Aviman.

Please shona ar parchi na..

Eka eka valo lagche na..

Chol eibar sesh kori ei -

Byabodhan.

===================================

Raat birete phone busy tar..

moner vetor khub tolpar..

Sondeho ra dicche uki..

Sabdhan...

Biswase aj bhor korechi..

Ja bolche tai manchi..

Hoeto kajer khujche kono

Somadhan.

Sondeho thik Sondeho thik

Palieche faith edik odik..

Hasle tumi amay bole

Dur-chai..

Bollam ami jasna chere..

Nayika sulabh hath ta nere..

Runujhunu sware bolle amay..

"GOOD-BYE".

Dreams Unlimited

Let me start with a dialogue from the film “Pyaar to hona hi tha” where Sanjana (Kajol) says “Pata hai Sekhar (Ajay Devan), insaan ko taklif kab hoti hai…jab wo koi swapna dekhta hai, aur wo pura nehi hota.” A true statement. But still, after opening Pandora’s Box we are used to live on dreams. Dreams changes with time to time and it is kind of an infinite loop.

I cannot say about other people how they think, but for me I feel upset if my little dreams break rather than larger dreams. Now, what is the difference in between little dreams and larger dreams? For me, little dreams are like, short time achievements. Suppose I am playing for my office cricket team and my little dream is to win a game where I become man of the match. Bigger dreams are like, I wish I win a lottery of 1Cr. Dreams should not have any bound. At least I don’t have.

Suddenly it stroke in my mind that actually I am talking about wishes. Dreams are those we see when we sleep. May be it happens to everyone that the wishes that we know will never come true; we make them true in dreams. A date with Priyanka Chopra, a century innings for Indian cricket team against Australia, A jackpot winning moment, One slap on the face the person you hate and cannot touch, double promotion in company and a 100% hike all the silly, naughty and cute wishes that we know can never happen, we fulfill it in dream. I don’t know about others, but I do.

A Valentines Day without my Valentine

It’s always been a clash between me and her that why people celebrate Valentines Day? She told me that, for every couple, if they had enough time and a wallet full of money, every day can be Valentines Day. I didn’t argue this time. A person who is willing to understand or better to say ready to understand, things can be discussed with him/her. But here I know whatever I’ll tell; she will stick to her decision. So I remain silent.

Why we celebrate Durga Puja, Ganesh Chaturthi, Dewali, Eid etc on some particular days? We all pray to god through out the year. What is the significance then to celebrate mother’s day, Children’s day, women’s day etc? There are no controversies regarding these days. Only in case of Valentine’s Day there are lots of issues some people create. Media runs from parks to malls to shoot couples, some political party come on the road to protest and say this is against our culture and all. Why are they worried off if some people think in a special way? If couples celebrate this day spending time with each other or buying gifts for each other, what the harm in that? From our daily life we choose some days to give special attention to everyone. A day for mother, a day for father, a day for child, a day for women and similarly like a day for your beloved one. After marriage we celebrate anniversary, even some date freaks celebrate their first meeting anniversary, first propose anniversary, first kiss anniversary etc. There are so many people who hardly meet and their love is alive over phone or chat. They choose this day to meet with each other, to spend some quality time and to get some good memories. Why do some people like to poke in between them?

Any way, my 14^th was good. I didn’t enjoy ‘Valentines Day’ but still the date become special for me. Some long chats with my beloved one, a ride on bike, a feeling of cool air, smoke of an ice-cream made my evening far better than what I expected. I spent Valentine’s Day in my way. And yes, I was NOT with my Valentine.

Why ??

The phone rang and rang for two hundred eighty nine times. I was sitting in front of my mobile and watching the blinking lights. The name that was appearing on the display of that person whom I loved. I was eager to say hello. I was eager to listen to her voice. But i couldn’t. Her own words bounded my hands. Her betray made a wall between me and her. Oops, its two hundred and ninetieth time its ringing. Flashing lights are like yes-no-yes -no rhythm. I can understand that now she wants to break the wall. She is trying to break the wall. But without my hands she cannot jump over it. I am sitting like statue. Hands are trying to push the receive button but cannot. They are bounded by the words "Please leave me alone... I want to leave.. You cannot give me a better life..So what you expect from me..?? I have chosen my partner..Don’t ever try to cross my roads....."

Heart is trying to hit a shift+del in memory but what time can do...heart cannot. Again it’s ringing. Let’s face it.

- Hello..

- What the hell? I am trying to reach you for so long...

- Why?

- I wanna talk to you.. Listen to your voice..

- Why?

- I was missing you..

- Why?

- I am feeling lonely...

- Why?

- I came to know that he has an affair.... so i decided not to keep any relation with him...

- Why?

- How can i keep a relation with such a bustard?

- Why?

- What why?.... do you mean to say... I did the same with you... yes of course i did. But i am missing you terribly..

- Why?

- I have done a mistake... a big mistake.. I want our previous time back....

- Why?

- I had some dreams..With you... But I know I have ruined it by myself...

- Why?

- I donnow what happened to me then... i was captured by some freaky thoughts...kiddies sentiments...and..and..

- And a dream of a big house.. a big car.. A bedroom with central AC..A husband with two thousand five hundred rupees of daily income...lavishness....

- I was wrong. I was wrong.

- Why did you do this to me? Why did you just throw me away like a used cup. Why did you lied when i asked you that was there something happening? Why did you tell me have faith on your words?

- Can we start again?

- Start what?

Phone got disconnected. Conversation was incomplete.

Depression Affected

Feb started on a lazy note. I thought it is gonna be a blast. But what always happens to me is what I expect very much, I don’t get that right away. Lot of yes-no-maybe happens in between and the charm of getting something special almost got ended.

I talked to a friend some days back and I was surprised to see the drastic change in him. When he was in school, he hate stories and novels, rather he loves to see movies in cinema halls or watching porn in DVD Players. When I talked to him some days back, he told me that he is reading novels, writing poetries. I was silent for a moment and then asked are you the same guy who used to hate stories and novels in school days? He smiled and answered, “See, how frustration changes a person”. Bong sentiments really grow up when a person is depressed. Depression, frustration is the out come if dreams are not fulfilled. But we, the pure bong mentality people leaves on dream.

If he is the example of how depression made him little soft and injected some sentiments in him, I have another friend who lost her all sentiments because of the same reason. 2-3 years back when I used to talk to her, she was full of life. Smiling, chattering and flying like a sparrow. After that for some time we lost contacts due to settle up carrier and all. Now days when I talk to her, she seems like a frozen river. Depressed, frustrated with life, hates almost everything, and Kind of un-touchable by the incidents whether it is of happiness or sorrow. She became a robot with flesh and blood. Another drastic change and which I think is not good.

In some of my blogs, I have given example of my friends. I have very few friends but quality friends. Their lives are full of incidents. As I live like a straight line graph, so I love to take incidents from their experiences. Feb started on a depressed note for me. And the funny thing is I don’t know why I am depressed. If I have to follow one of these two friends, whom should I follow? This is the question that actually I am asking myself again and again.

Then suddenly on the way home I met a completely unknown person. We talked a little. I asked him, have you ever been depressed? He told me he has no time for depression. He told me, if you make yourself so busy that you don’t even get time to think about your mind status, then you will never know when you are sorry or when you are depressed. I replied, and then we never know when we are happy also. Lets see whether the conversation is gonna help me or not. I have modified his words and taken in this way, “When you feel you are depressed, make your self so busy that you don’t get time to think about it. After few days, take a break and ask yourself about the mind status. If it is okay, its time to get back to your previous routine, else continue to be busy.”

Saraswati Puja – Bong valentine Day

My Asmaan Chaudhury Joyeta (Those who have no idea about the album “Priyo Bandhu” by Anjan Dutta, they don’t know this person) told me “You are very bad in English. Banglae lekho na keno baba?”  Ei lekhata tai banglae likhchi.

February ese gelo. Ar Feb manei saraswati pujo. Chotobela e ei dintar jonno vison vabe wait kore thaktam…and its simply because, baba bolten ei din boi touch korte nei. Ekdin age thaktei sab boi-khata debir payer kache rekhe ekdiner jonno swastir nihswas feltam. Ektu baro hoe jakhon teen age e pa diyechi, jakhn mone basanta ektu sursuri dicche, hotat hotat preme pore jacchi…sei somoy saraswati pujor ekta anya mahatto anuvab korlam. Saraswati Pujo – Bango sontander valentines day.

“Dekh dekh, maye take dekh, saree te ki darun lagche na!” “Are, ei ki sei puchke maye ta!! Saree porle mayeder besh porinato lage” – eisob comments cholto jakhan aamra barir pujor anjali sere, dour lagatam school e, ar ekdol chele berotam “Jemon khushi sajo” competition dekhte. Choto theke baro – chardike sudhu basonti-halud saree ar chole fire berano saraswati… ei na hole debi darshan!!

Ar ektu baro holam. School er gondi periye college. Engineering college e saraswati pujo khub ekta baro kore hoto na…may be ekta dharona chilo ekhane devi saraswati-r theke biswakarma ke khushi rakha ta beshi darkar. Tai college e saraswati pujo te khub ekta jai ni…Tobe tai bole barite katiechi ta noe. Sraswati pujo mane se somoy Nandan-Victoria- Moidan-Agarpara station (Amar vison priyo ek bandhobi-r sathe dekha korte)-ar sondhye bela kono bandhu-r bari khichuri khaye bari.

Class 10 theke shuru kore final year porjonto 6 bachor ei saraswati pujo-r din e amar ek vison priyo bandhobir sathe dekha hoto…Emon o hoeche je ek bachor jogajog nei, kotha nei, hotat thik pujor ager din sondhye bela tar phone. Within a fraction of second program fixed hoe jeto. Etodin pore hotat dekha holeo kakhono emon mone hoe ni je, katodin pore meet korchi.. mone hoto..ei to sedin dekha holo..kotha holo.. Tarpor ekbachor pujor ager din rate phone elo na. Ami vablam pujor din e hoeto asbe. Ek ekbar ph er ring shunlei lafiye giye phone dhorechi..or phone ase ni ar. Bigato 3 bachor ami wait kore achi or phone asbe..ek e vabe second er modhye amader dekha haoar somoy place thik hoe jabe. Bigato 3 bachor ami saraswati pujo-r ager din, pujor din – sara din or phone er wait kori. Nandan-nalban amake aar tane na. Bigato 3 bachor saraswati pujo barite katiyechi. Ebar o hoeto serakamtar aniom hobe na. kono miracle hobe na. Kono phone asbe na.