Tuesday, August 16, 2011

The Best 65 hours I have ever spent in my life

Don’t know where to start from. It was like a dream come true. Let’s start from the moment I received her here, in Pune, 2020km far from Kolkata. The train was late for 15mins and when I was waiting at the station, those 15mins was like 15 long years for me. And when I see the train approaching towards station, believe me, everything was happening like in slow motion (Jaisa filmo me hota hai, ho raha tha hubahu..). I was standing in front of the gate from where she gonna come out. And the moment came. She came out with a smile. It was like thousand sees roared in my mind. I wanted to hug her tight. Wanted to look into her eyes and say how much I waited for the moment. But that was a busy station and we are meeting after long days. I resisted myself, controlled my emotion and got into my bike to take her to my place.

A half an hour bike ride under heavy rain and we reached home. It’s a bachelor’s room with no locks in any door. Still that made her comfortable. I cooked for her and after having lunch we were waiting to go out for a trip. We were all set but it was raining cats and dogs outside. The hills that can be seen from our balcony were faded by rain. Roads became slippery. But those could not stop our freedom ride. We started our journey towards Mulshi Dam.

Hill roads in rains become slipper and the surrounding beauty becomes breath taking. Mulshi is around 50km from my place but it was not pre-decided till which point we would go. We just went off into the road and followed the way. Rain and rain and rain all the time. Cool breeze was making me shivering but I was so exited having her that, that did not hamper our trip. On the way we stop for a cup of tea. Smokey tea with a fag under rain and then again we were on the road. At the end of Mulshi Dam there is a waterfall. We went till that point. The hills were covered by cloud. Wind was blowing so hard that we could feel the coldness of waterfall from a distance. We spent some time together there. This waterfall is not so renowned so it was only two of us over there. It was like we are in a different world, far away from all the responsibilities, anxieties and thoughts from the real world. No time limit, no need of wrist watch, no unwanted calls just only two of us were enjoying the moment silently.

I don’t know how much time we have spent over there but when we realize it was almost sunset. We started returning back to the city. An hour ride and we are back to my room. My roomies were back from office. I introduced her to them and after having a small chat we went off for dinner. A candle light dinner that I have ever dreamed. There is a restaurant in Pune called ‘Up and above’ where they have different section for couples. A well decorated table with a candle at the middle of it. The top view of the city from there. The never ending breeze made us relaxed and we spent a waited memorable date. A cup of beer with chicken 65 and after that sizzling brownie made our evening perfect. We returned around midnight.
 
That night we spent together. Most of the time we were in balcony. Chatting with each other, laughing and watching the wet city. Around 4am we went to sleep. We had to wake up 5am for our next day’s trip to Mahabaleshwar. A good night kiss and we were off for bed.

Next day morning I woke up with her hug. She woke up earlier than me and already got ready. I quickly freshen up myself and got ready for the trip. A trip with my childhood friends and 2 brothers. Road to Mahabaleshwar from Pune is just awesome. It was sunny when we were on the high way. But the moment we took a right turn from highway, rain started. The close we are getting to the place rain was becoming heavy. When we reached Mahabaleshwar, it was cloudy. We found a water fall with high current. We were there for hours enjoying the beauty and the flow. Even though the road was slipper, we crawl to middle of the hill. It was fun. From there we enjoyed the beauty of nature. Along with the most loved one in my hand that beauty was like heaven. Then we went for the spots of Mahabaleshwar. Every where it was cloudy and foggy. Hardly we can see anything but that was not becoming any boundary between our enjoyments. Then a break fail of our hired car made us little bored. It took hell lot of time to fix and after that we decided to get back to the city and had a plan for night that we will have chicken and khichdi along with rum. Later the liquor program was cancelled. We got back home and rested for an hour. And then we went for our dinner. Khichdi is my all-time favorite dish. We were so tired that it took a moment to sleep after hitting the bed.

We had a sound sleep that night. When we woke up it’s around 10am. We had an invitation at my friend’s home. So we had no hurry. She made breakfast for me adding lots of love in it. We got ready and went off for my friend’s house. We had a plan for lonavla as well but due to rain we cancelled the plan. We had a group chat after lunch and then we returned to our base to spend time together and alone. That day I realized that how being two how can be a lonely and lovely moment. In the evening we were off for city round. We wend to Chatushinghi temple, City pride, E-square, Central and also to some happening places of Pune. But the rush was so high that we decided to go for a calm place for dinner. A hill top restaurant named ‘Nakshatra’ was our destination. After our dinner a late night cold coffee made our evening graceful. We returned home around 12.30am. Rest of the night we spent in the balcony watching the hills and cloudy sky. When city was silent, everyone was sleeping we were at our own world. She hugged me tight. She felt my heart beat. And I was thrilled having her so close at that point of time.

The thought that she will be leaving tomorrow made me sad. She made me cheer and we dreamed of a charming future together. I didn’t have any idea about the time, but when we were off for sleep it was dawn.

The next day I woke up with the call of my roommate. It was around 9.30am. She already woke up by then and her packing was done. I cooked for her and she was sitting in front of me. I felt great cooking for her. We had lunch together and spend some silent moments. My dream hours were at the end and I don’t know how to hold her back. She was ready with her luggage and I was taking my keys to drop her. When we reached station the train was already at the station. When she found her seat it was 15 min before the train starts. These 15 mins were like 15 sec for me. I bid her good bye held once for the last time in my hands. Train went off and I was standing still at the same point where I received here 65 hours back.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Meditation and ME

Yesterday evening I was feeling very haphazard. So after my cooking was over, I planned for meditation. Took out one hour and played a mediation CD and started. There are few stages of meditation. First stage was to keep your mind calm. I felt very relaxed. Second stage was thanks giving. It was like, think about the happier moment of your life with your parents, with your friends, with your beloved ones and thank them for the moments. I felt I was smiling while thinking about those moments. Now appears the interesting part for which I started writing this blog.

The next part of the meditation was to forgive. The voice from the CD was telling that ‘think of your enemies or the person you hated and forgive them. Not only forgive them but also pray to god for them.’ Some names were hitting me. Some faces I saw smiling at me. The faces I hated most. Some faces those I wanted to burn out. Some people whom I though to murder thousand times. They were laughing at me. I could not forgive. I tried hard. But the moment I tried to forgive, they laughed at me and the reasons of my hate came into picture. I sopped the CD. My meditation was incomplete.

After that I was lying down for some moments closing my eyes and locked these memories in dark cell of my mind. I realized, I am not in the stage of forgiving them. I am not a great man. I am not god. Probably after 10 years, this won’t mean to me any more, but at this stage of life I cannot forgive them. And if they ever come in the way of my life, I may execute my thousand timed thought murder idea.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

I feel bad when……

I feel bad when I enter into the office and an aged security guard calls me sir.

I feel bad when I see that the person I give most importance ignores me.

I feel bad when I understand that people whom I think like friend behaving like a professional.

I feel bad when I see any of my close friends is suffering from depression.

I feel bad when my mood un-necessary goes down and I can not smile for a long time.

I feel bad when I see one of my friends doing the same mistake that I did in past.
I feel bad at every 2nd of the month when 90% of my salary I transfer to clear pending.
I feel bad when I found no work at my desk.
I feel bad when past pops up in my present and create trouble.
I feel bad when I deny any propose.
I feel bad when somebody gets hurt by my words or by my mistake.
I feel bad when I ask for little help from my close ones and get denied.
I feel bad when I understand that surrounding is becoming harder and my sentiments are getting hurt.
I feel bad when I miss my hometown.
I feel bad when I miss the love and affection from my mom.
I feel bad when I see a sweet couple holding their hands keeping their heads on each other’s shoulder.
I feel bad when I miss a tight hug from some one special.

And then I understand, this is life. I try to ignore all the anxieties and move on.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Fighting with my mind

I don’t have control over my mind. The day I spent yesterday should make me feel better, but I am not feeling good. Don’t know why. Something I feel missing. Some urge to fulfill. But don’t know what those are. I had a trip to Lonavla with some of my friends yesterday. Those hill roads, those cloudy hills, having a cup of tea at the top of the hill under drizzle, little shopping of some crazy thing could have made me crazy. But when I returned home, I was in some different thoughts. Exactly what I am thinking, on which matter don’t really remember as I was damn tired. I woke up in the morning with the same mood. Lazy, disgusting irritating mood. I have tried to change this but as I told, I don’t have control over my mind.

You know, some times it happens. Even now also when I am asking to my mind WHY? Some words are just passing by. I caught some of those. “Don’t depend so much on somebody”. “Don’t give your mind to drive somebody else”. “Are you sick”? “Are you thinking of some shit again”? Some unwanted words. I don’t know why they are coming.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Sunday Blues

Its month end. And I woke up in the morning realizing how a bachelor’s month end is. I was planning to go for a hair cut and my wallet said insufficient balance. I asked one of my roommates to go for an online recharge from my credit card and pay me the cash. Thanks to him that he also wanted a recharge at the same time. Got some money. Felt well that then I could go for a hair cut. And then my childhood friend called me up and the day turned to a different direction.

I picked up the call and my friend asked me “Let’s go out. I need to buy a laptop”. I said okay, come down and we will choose a laptop for you. We went out around 3.30pm. After having a short market survey we choose a laptop for him. Payment was done and configuration was going on when my friend asked me “Don’t you feel that you also should take a laptop? This is the time. Go for it.” Before his sentence I was not even in a thought about buying a laptop. But I don’t know what happened, within a flash I decided to go for a lappy. I asked for the same model with same configuration.

A day started so blankly, ended up with an achievement of my life.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

New side of Human Psychology

Its been a long time when I was out of this page. Actually I was trying to find some topic to write on. Its not like I found a very bold topic, but there is something I need share here.

I experienced some thing from one of my friend. He was expressing his thoughts to me and I came to know that he was not feeling well because his ex girl friend is happy with some other guy. I asked him why you are so unhappy? He had no answer. Practically or theoretically there should be no reason to be offended. If you have broken up completely from your mind, nothing should matters regarding your ex. But life doesn’t follow any theoretical knowledge. I came to know a new part of human psychology. "You will feel unhappy if you see your ex is happy with a new partner, until and unless you are engaged with somebody else."

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Je kotha bola hoe otheni

Toke anek kichu bolar..
Jani bolte gelei ghete jabe..
Tai kagoj pen jogar..
Jani tor kashto hobe.

Tabu dekh guchoy ni aaj kotha,
Pen kamre bose anekkan..
Sotto baro nirmam hobe aaj..
Tabu likhboi aaj, bosechi ekbar jakhon.

Tor mone pore tui kache esechili..
Bhalobese ador korechili..
Buker majhe japte dhore amay..
Nispaloke thot jwaliyechili.

Tor thoter agun mon choy ni aamar..
lohar shikole se mon mora chilo..
Andho kuper ek-chilte aloe.. sudhu
Kalponara ador mekhechilo.

Bhalobasi toke ekothata jani..
Temonta noe, jemonta tui chas..
Ami tor premik nai ba holam..
Hote to pari bandhu - dirghyo shwas.