Meet Mr. "No One": The Invisible Force Behind the Independent FB & Insta Post

 

You have all seen the post.

You’re scrolling through Instagram and stop on a photo of a woman you know or you might not know. She looks magnificent, standing on a cliff edge in a beautiful place, arms outstretched, embracing the universe. The lighting is perfect. The caption is inspiring: "She conquered the storm alone. She needs no one to be happy. Just me, myself, and the sky. #Independent #SelfMade #INeedNoOne"

It is a beautiful sentiment. Truly Its is. 

But as you look closer, a question begins to knock the logical part of your brain: Who took the picture?

Did a passing seagull learn how to adjust the aperture on an iPhone or a DSLR? Did she set a timer and sprint 50 yards to the edge of the cliff? No. Behind that lens stands a man. He is likely sunburnt, holding a heavy backpack that isn’t his, and he has just been told that he is "No One."

Welcome to the phenomenon of the Invisible Man. In the curated world of social media, where women proclaim they need "No One," it turns out "No One" is actually a guy named Mr. X, standing three feet away, holding the purse.

There are Many Roles of "No One"

To understand this phenomenon, we must recognize that "No One" is actually the hard-working employee in the relationship.

1. The Director of Photography:

The caption reads "Just me and the horizon," but the camera angle suggests the photographer is hovering six feet in the air. This isn't a drone; this is the famous "Boyfriend Squat."

You have seen him in the wild, legs spread, spine twisted, contorting himself into a human pretzel just to get the Eiffel Tower and her shoes in the same frame. He snaps 300 photos in rapid succession. She selects exactly one.

She posts it with the hashtag #FindingPeace. Meanwhile, "Peace" is standing two feet away, frantically deleting his own apps just to make storage space for her next video.

2. The Silent Investor

Then there is the "Boss Babe" dinner post—a manicured hand holding champagne at a Michelin-star restaurant with the caption: "Treating myself. I know my worth."

Sometimes she did buy that ticket. But often, if you panned the camera 180 degrees, you’d find "No One" checking the wine list. He is the Venture Capitalist of her lifestyle brand, funding the operation only to be cropped out of the profile picture because he "ruins the aesthetic."

3. The Logistics Sherpa

Notice how in "Solo Travel" photos, the woman is walking through anywhere in world holding nothing but a gelato and a purse that wouldn't fit a chapstick. Where is her luggage? Where are the three jacket options she brought "just in case"? Turn around. Look ten paces back. "No One" is there, dragging the suitcase while trying to navigate Google Maps. He is the roadie for the rock star, shoved behind the curtain so she can shine "alone."

4. The Chaos Containment Officer:

You see a photo of her sitting in a sun-drenched nook, reading a book with a steaming mug. The caption: "Slow mornings. Finding my center. #MomLife #Zen"

Do not be fooled. The house is not quiet. The house is a war zone. Just outside the frame, "No One" is physically restraining two toddlers. He is the dam holding back the flood. He is handling children with games and stories and whispering, "Shh, Mommy is creating content," just so she can get that one second of "silence" to prove she has it all under control.

5. The Renovation Ghost:

This happens after every home improvement project. She posts a photo of the new renovated house. She is standing there, smiling, perhaps holding a single, clean paintbrush. Caption: "So proud of what we built. #DIY #NestBuilding"

"We"? Zoom in on her hands. They are manicured. Now look for "No One." He isn't in the photo because he is may be currently lying on the floor, covered in drywall dust, nursing a herniated disc, and trying to figure out why the plumbing is leaking. She picked the paint color; he inhaled the fumes.

6. The Unpaid Uber:

This is the classic "Car Selfie" or the video story recorded from the passenger seat. She is looking fresh, singing along to the radio, updating her followers on her day. Caption: "Road trip vibes! Adventure awaits!"

Who is driving the car? "No One." He is the chauffeur. He is not allowed to listen to his podcast because it interferes with her audio. He is not allowed to speak because it ruins the take. He is simply a pair of hands on the wheel, silently transporting the Main Character to her next location while she filters the lighting on her face.

A Toast to the "No Ones"

Why do Men do this? Because "dependence" is out of fashion. Men have been rebranded from "Partners" to "Staff." Men are the boom mic operators of her life movie—essential to the production, but forbidden from being on screen.

So, here is a toast to the men in the background.

To the guys holding heavy coats while she poses in the snow.

To the guys navigating foreign subway systems while she captions a photo "Where the wind takes me..." (The wind didn't take you there; The Man (Read The No One) did. The Man has Google Maps open right now).

I see you Mr. No One. I know you exist. 

The next time you see a post declaring a woman needs "No One," just smile. You know the truth. "No One" is a pretty great guy.

Just don't tag him. You’ll ruin the vibe.

The Fly

 

"The Fly" is one of Katherine Mansfield’s darkest and most famous stories. She wrote it while dealing with deep sadness after World War I. The story is about a powerful man known only as "The Boss," who is visited by an old friend.

I’m not here to retell the whole story today, as the entire thing is a masterpiece. However, there is one specific part that really stays with me. I wanted to expand on that moment in my own way, mixing in my own thoughts and feelings.

Here it goes:

The Boss sat still at his desk, his long shadow falling across the wood. A fly drifted in through the window and landed softly on the table. Its wings were like delicate lace, catching the light as it moved.

The Boss dropped a single drop of ink onto the fly.

It hit like a heavy, cold stone. The ink pinned the fly down, sticking its wings to its body. The insect began to fight. Its tiny legs worked frantically against the wood, trying to scrape the thick, black liquid away. It was a massive effort—a tiny life fighting against a giant’s mess. Eventually, the fly’s wings began to shine through the black again. It stood up on shaking legs, getting ready to fly away.

The Boss dropped the second drop of ink.

This time was even harder. The new ink mixed with the old, making the weight twice as heavy. The fly started to struggle again, but its energy was fading. It dragged its body through the sticky mess, its movements slow and painful. Still, it refused to give up. With incredible persistence, it cleared its wings one more time. It reached a dry spot on the wood, looking like a shivering ghost of its former self, and tried to fly.

The Boss dropped the third drop of ink.

It became a slow, sad cycle. Every time the fly was about to escape, the Boss put Ink drop onto the Fly. With every new drop, the fly’s strength leaked away. Its legs slipped in the growing puddle of black. The beautiful glow of its body was buried under layer after layer of ink.

The breaks between its movements grew longer. The Fly is tired and lost its strength to fight. It made one last, painful effort to lift its head, but the weight was simply too much. Its legs gave out, its wings stayed pinned in the dark, and the fly died.

I am tired too.

The Modern Ratnakar

 

The ancient legend of Ratnakar, the bandit who would later become Valmiki, is often told as a story of spiritual transformation. However, hidden within this myth is a chilling domestic reality that resonates deeply with the modern man.

When Narada asked Ratnakar if his wife and children would share in the sins he committed to provide for them, their answer was a cold, resounding "No." They were happy to consume the fruits of his labor, but they refused to bear the weight of his struggle.

In the 21st century, the setting has changed from the dense forests of ancient India to the glorified Job culture, but the core dynamic remains hauntingly similar.

Today’s man is often viewed through the lens of a "Provider." From a young age, society conditions men to believe that their value is directly proportional to their utility—what they can bring to the table, the bills they can pay, and the security they can offer, the wishes they can fulfill, the comfort they can bare.

Like Ratnakar, the modern man often engages in a "moral and physical grind." He might endure a non loving day to day job, sacrifice his physical health in manual labor, or spend decades in a soul-crushing commute. He does this not for himself, but for the comfort of his family. Yet, a strange phenomenon occurs: the family often falls in love with the lifestyle, but forgets the life force being drained to maintain it.

The tragedy of the modern "Ratnakar" is the invisibility of the sacrifice of Men.

While the family enjoys the high-speed internet, the annual vacations, and the comfortable home, the man often sits in a silent corner, processing the burnout he isn't allowed to express. When a man’s contribution is taken for granted, he begins to feel like a "living ATM." If the money stops or the success wavers, he fears—much like Ratnakar realized—that his presence might no longer be valued by those he spent his life serving. Even sometimes his presence is not been valued even after going thru the hurdle and given his best to bring the warmth to his family. Society rewards men for being "strong and silent." This silence, however, becomes a double-edged sword. Because he does not complain, the family assumes he is not suffering. His exhaustion is mistaken for "just doing his job."

The story of Ratnakar ends with a profound realization: he was alone in his actions. This realization led him to drop his weapons and seek a higher purpose, eventually becoming the Great Valmiki.

For the modern man, the "Ratnakar Moment" is the realization that he must be more than just a paycheck. But even after realizing, how many can change the way of living. How many can even think of following his passion and dreams. How many decides to Live for himself only. According to my knowledge - hardly any Man can come out of the hustle. Life goes on and a Man has to accept that there is no escape.

The Modern Ratnakars remains as Ratnakars even if they wish from the core of their heart to become Valmikis.

Living life on my own terms - The Selfish Trend

 

Behind every "Living life on my own Terms" person - there is someone who didn't live his life on his own terms.

Burning in silence. Dream sacrificed. Freedom worn like a crown built on negligence.

Behind every person who proudly claims to live life on their own terms, there is an invisible cost—a hidden story of sacrifice, pain, and dreams left to burn in the shadows. Living life on your own terms is often painted as the ultimate freedom, the heroic choice to break free from chains and live authentically. But underneath that glowing light is someone whose dreams were dimmed or sacrificed so another could shine.

It’s a selfish act wrapped in courage. Someone had to wilt so someone else could bloom. Someone had to bear the darkness, so the other could walk in the light. The freedom to say "I choose" is rarely born from thin air; it is shaped in the furnace of sacrifices—silent sacrifices that often go unseen and unacknowledged.

For every heart that roams free, there is another that stayed behind, tethered by duty, expectation, or pain. It could be a parent who gave up their passions to provide safety. A friend who swallowed their ambitions to support another’s dream. A soul who accepted confinement, so another might breathe air unbound.

This is the bitter truth hidden behind the triumphant cry of independence. Living on one's own terms is not just freedom; it is the privilege granted by someone else’s surrender. And sometimes, the light that guides is burning someone else’s flesh.

So when you proudly live life on your terms, remember the sacrifices that paved your way. Honor the silent fires that smoldered in the dark. Because freedom, at its core, carries a price tag etched with someone else’s withheld dreams.

Because in the end, to live on your terms is never just about you. It is about the lives quietly burned so you might shine.

I Am Not Letting It Go

 

I’ve read countless pieces of advice telling me to master the art of letting go. Whatever is weighing you down—just release it, and peace will follow.  I came across a story that struck a chord deep within me: 

If a snake bites you, don’t go chasing the snake to ask it to say sorry. First, treat the venom spreading inside you. Even if the snake apologizes, the poison has already taken hold.  

Until I turned 40, this was exactly how I lived. Whenever life threw something bad my way, I treated it like a snake bite—I focused on neutralizing the venom. I didn’t chase the snake. “Don’t chase the snake” became my mantra, my way to remind myself to heal without getting sucked into anger or pain. Did it work? I’m not sure. The venom did its damage every time—it burned me alive. But the snake roamed free, untouched.

Now, past 40, I’m trying something different. I’m not letting the snake go. Instead, I want to cage it. Let it bite me again... and again... until I grow immune to its venom. Until I can smile with poison in my veins, I’m not letting it go.

Every night during meditation, I picture that cage. I reach in, open it, and let the snake bite me. I tell myself: there is no forgiveness here. No such thing. I’m no saint. I’m selfish—this is my body, my mind, and I decide how long the snake stays by my side.

This is an experiment. I want to see if my body will stop reacting to the venom or It dies. If I can grab the snake’s jaw and ask it for one more bite. I believe, One day, I’ll hold the snake till its last breath, till it dies. I’ll gather every drop of venom and say, “Thank you for making me someone who no longer feels pain.” I’ll hold on until one of us dies—me or the snake.

What am I hoping to achieve? A mind that never forgets the moments that tested my very existence and efforts. A mind strong enough to face any unwanted situation with a smile. It’s like burning myself to ashes so I never burn again.

আসছে বছর - আবার হবে তো?

 গাড়ি তে ব্যাগ তোলা হয়ে গেলে দ্রুত মা বাবা কে প্রণাম সাড়ে ছেলেট।  প্রতি বার যাওয়ার সময় খুব তাড়াহুড়ো করে এই সময়টা। মা আসি, বাবা আসি এই চলো চলো, গাড়ি তে ওঠো, এলাম এলাম বলে দ্রুত গাড়িতে উঠে এয়ারপোর্ট রওয়ানা দে।  তাড়াহুড়োয় মা বাবার চোখে জল আসার সুযোগ পায় না।  হয়তো এই চোখের জলে বিদায় এড়ানোর জন্যই এই তাড়াহুড়ো।  

ছেলেটির বাবা প্রতিবার জিগেস করে - এয়ারপোর্ট ছাড়তে যাবো? যখন প্রথম ঘর ছেড়েছিলো, তখন স্টেশন ও ছাড়তে যেতে চেয়েছিল। ছেলেটা না করে।  "কি করবে এতো দূর গিয়ে? কোনো দরকার নেই", রুক্ষ ভাবেই বলে।  এই রুক্ষতা ছেলেটির বাবা মায়ের অভ্যেস হয়ে গেছে।  এক ই উত্তর প্রতিবার, এক ই রুক্ষতা, তাও জিজ্ঞেস কর।  হয়তো বোঝে যে বিদায় বেলায় বাবা মা এর চোখের জল দেখে গেলে বাইরে মন টিকবে না।  কেই বা সাধ করে ঘর ছেড়ে, শহর ছেড়ে, বন্ধু বান্ধব, আত্মীয় স্বজন ছেড়ে দূর দেশে পারি দেয় !

আমি কলকাতার কোনো এক লেনিন সারণির প্রান্তিক কোনো এক গলি - যে এক সপ্তাহের ব্যবধানে এক বাড়ির এক ছেলে এক মেয়ে কে বিদেশ পারি দিতে দেখল।  হৈহুল্লোরে গম গম করা বাড়ি - শান্ত, নিঝঝুম হতে দেখল। মেয়েটির যাওয়ার পর তার মা বাবা কে বাক শূন্য হয়ে চোখের জল আটকাতে আটকাতে ঘরের মধ্যে ঢুকে যেতে দেখল।  ছেলেটির যাওয়ার পর তার মা বাবা কেও এক ই ভাবে শান্ত ধীর পায়ে রোজ নামছে ফিরতে দেখলো।  ছেলে মেয়ের ছেড়ে যাওয়া অগোছালো ঘর, ভুল করে ছড়িয়ে রাখা জামা কাপড়, বাচ্চা দের ছড়িয়ে থাকা খেলনা,দেওয়াল ই পেন্সিল এর আঁকিবুকি, যা দেখে দু দিন আগেও রাগ হয়েছিল, তা দেখে চোখে জল এলো তাদের।  বৃদ্ধ বাবা মে দের নিঃসঙ্গতা দেখি রোজ।  আমার মতো গান্ধী সারণি, নেতাজি সারণি, নেহেরু সারণি আরো অনেক সারণি - সবাই এক ই ছবি দেখে রো।  ছেলে মেয়ে গুলো বাড়ি এলে, সেটাই হয়ে ওঠে দূর্গা পুজো, কালী পুজো, লক্ষী বা সরস্বতী পুজোর মতো উৎসব।  হৈ হৈ করে চোখের নিমেষে কেটে যায় দিন। 

আবার শুরু অপেক্ষা।  

Making Memory - Earning Smile

After 6 years - I realized that I didnt get chance to write anything to my Blog. 6 long years. So many things got changed in between. But olets not talk about the changes. Lets talk about how was my last 6 years.
Looking back at a glance - i see i can re-collect very few achievements like:
1. I got my First Onsite. SWITZERLAND. A dream country for all indians. 
2. Booked a Flat. 
3. Got a Baby Boy. By now he is 4 years already.
4. Brought Parents and In-Laws to Switzerland for a 1 month trip.

Now - what was most satisfying for me? Earning Money? Booking Flat? Having Kid? Or Bringing Parents to Switzerland. I feel the last one. This i feel like an achievement.

Being in parenthood i realized that this is one of the toughest job in the world. Parents sacrifices so many things in life to give the best to the kids. I still remember my Mother - taking me to school and waiting for the whole time outside school campus and take me home back. I still remember my father wanted to give best possible schooling, tution going byond his capabilities. 

When i started planning for their Switzerland trip - i was able to understand their joy, excitement and at the same time fear for a long journey. But finally when they reached i realized the joy in them. A satisfaction of their whole effort to make me eligible enough to be self independent. A 28 days trip, unlimited wow, awesome, etc etc for the trips over Alps mountains, Paris, Germany - made it a trip for their lifetime. 

For me i gathered all the smile that i could. Smiles - that i earned. Smiles that i wished to give to my parents and in-laws through out the life. It hampered my savings - but the memory i gained - cannot be compared with any amount.

Balanced Bygone

It’s a hectic start of a new career path. When I say hectic I really mean it. After bidding adieu to my 5 years old company Mindtree, I joined Tech Mahindra. Friends of mine who have worked in TechM may say I am crazy but this is my dream company. The company I am chasing from the day of my campussing. For last 7 years I waited for this opportunity and at last I got that.

Generally what I heard from people is after joining a new company it takes around two weeks to get project and start with work. Thankfully mine was a different story. The day I joined, the very next day I got a project and then the consequences started. Long working hours, Working in weekends, learning from different sources, share the learning with the new joiners and work under high demands. The dayly routine for last two months was like getting up early - going to office - working like hell and coming back late to home. Became tired and still no time for myself and also my family. Thankfully I got a wife who is so supporting that I didn't deviate from focusing on my work and at last delivered well. 

Its a Sunday when I writing this and today is the last day of our first release. I hope everything goes well and our teams work get noticed and hope we build confidence to the client we are working for. Standing today I am feeling like this hectic schedule actually made me little stronger to face the challenges.

Now that was the professional story. When I look back to my personal life for last 3 months, I find some ups and downs. My closest friend lost his father. After having enormous pain and after having a fight with death for 20 long days he bid adieu to us. One of my closest person, whom I expected to be most supportive turned back on me. I was like middle of no-where and realized that every relationship in this world are somehow based on ROI (Return on Investment). Long time back my Bengali teacher (Dr. Arup Kr Maity) told me the same thing and then I denied to accept that. These days I realize that he was correct. 

So, last 3 months it was mixed-bag roller coaster ride for me. I laughed with all, cried alone, became silent when someone insulted me, accepted hush words, enjoyed appreciation, felt the pain to loss someone and much more. I was scare about August. But it went Ok. Overall these much ups and downs are accepted in life. I am going good. May be in future I will make it Great.

L A T E - G E T

I didn't get anything in my life within time. Everything turns up so late that I don't feel the charm of achieving that thing. Now the most important part is I am still not used to it. May be after being victim so many times I should have accepted my fate, but I could not. There is always a hope that once, atleast once in my life I will get something smoothly.

May be this is little confusing. So let me explain. I still remember the day when I was selected in joint entrance examination, but due to my poor family condition I was about to forced in general line to study either literature or any science subject. I was so keen and exited after my joint result that whoever pointed finger at me as a non-studious guy, I proved them wrong atleast in one exam. My excitement came to an end when I started realizing that Engineering is a richer people catch not like us who belongs to lower middle class family. At the end my father somehow arranged a bank loan and I entered engineering college. My dream to be in engineering college came true but there was no excitement left.

Coming down to Third year final semester when campassing was going on I grabbed an offer and I was so excited that all my effort paid off and I will start my career right after my study. After completing 4th Year when all my friends were joining and I was eagerly waiting for the day when I will also join, then a mail came and I came to know that My joining date is postponed by 6 month. Again after 6 months another mail saying that the joining postponed for another 8 months and after 8 months again a mail with no joining date to my first company. By that time all my excitement to start a career has gone and I was struggling in Marketing with reliance and when I came to know that the company is not going to give joining then I tried for BPO and thankfully I got a chance in Wipro. When I was almost settled and performing well and thinking about shining in BPO sector my first company got merged with some another company and they decided to give the joining to the pending candidates. I joined a company after 3 years being selected. I was not excited at all. Rather I was feeling bad to leave Wipro as I had some good friends around me by that time. Still technical line better than BPO (by everyone's believe), so I joined and set a journey of 5 years.

Again the same thing happening with me. Again a ray of hope came and lost. And now when I actually thinking to be settled in the new company after job change it is poking me and may be in near future I will get that opportunity. But truly, I am not so much excited. I am just doing things calm and quietly.

I always been treated badly by hope. It always played with me and gave me what I dreamed off, but at that point of time when I feel no good and excited about that achievement. I just gave very small examples which includes my professional life. There are many more in my personal life as well. But there are something that I don't want to remember. There are something that I wish to forget as soon as possible. That's why I didn't write them to my diary or to any of my blogs. 

Lets see how much life can play with me before being stable. Long way to go before I sleep. Long way to go before I sleep.

Two Big Changes in Life

Its been long days I wrote anything in my blog. Its not that I didn't get time, But it is because my enthusiasm of writing came down drastically for last few months. Today I am determined to writeup something and also I missed so many things to update here. 
In between these days my life has changed a lot. A sentimental silent bachelor has tied the knot and he also completed his probation period (read : 6 months) and running pretty well. 
I was going through my previous blogs and there was something like winning over people who hated me a lot, finally I have done that and I don't feel different about that as well. May be I have grown up or may be I have become more practical about life. 

Now, How is my married life going and what all changes came to my life? First things first, even after 6 months of my marriage, I don't feel like I am married. I feel good about that. No such boundaries that is imposed on me, rather I feel free and happy that I got a charming chatterbox in my life with whom I can share my little words and listen to her enormous talks. This is the biggest change as of now. The second change is I have left Mindtree. After 5 years 1 month and 15 days I moved on. I didn't expect that some person will cry on my departure but that un-expected thing happened for the second time in my life. Yes I was also in tears but I somehow managed to cover it up by my crazy mumbo jumbos.  
May be this will sound little childish but a person like me, who was often out of spot light, feels good when somebody shows his/her love and affection. I am thankful to the people who cares for me. 

I haven't answered the question properly that why I have left Mindtree after 5 years. When I got promoted few months back. Salary was been revised well enough, then why changing the job and leaving the comfort zone? Here I pour my heart. Firstly, I sensed the project that I had been working has came to an end and I have to start again from the scratch. So if I have to start from the scratch then why not in different company. Secondly, a big part of my compensation was project specific. That means till the time I am in the project, I'll be eligible for that. That scared me. Thirdly, all my friends with whom I joined Mindtree has either left company or moved to onsite. I started finding mindtree little unknown. Fourthly, after marriage I felt that my salary is not enough to survive in Pune which pushed me a lot to go for the change. Thats all. I miss the people over there. I miss the cricket team in mindtree and MPL which will be played again this year and I wont be able to be a part of it. 

As a conclusion, things are stable now and I am going through a pretty comfortable time these days. And for those who fear to get married, a suggestion to them : Keep things simple and marriage is a wonderful thing. 

Things which keeps me awake

Sometimes things which we wish to forget, and believe that they are erased from our memory; they come at night to ruin the sleep. Dreams can keep you alive, at the same time drams can bother you when you start feeling that you have overcome your wounds. I don’t know whether it happens with me only, or happens with everyone. I am a very simple guy, so I don’t expect un-natural things to be happening with me.

Yesterday I experienced quite similar feeling. It was a champion trophy win by India over England and as a cricket fan I was happy with the victory. I went to sleep with a smile but the moment I tried to fall asleep I saw some faces laughing at me. Faces I am familiar with, faces I have never met but they are very much known, Faces I hated most came to my dream to make me feel that I am still not over with the wounds that life gave to me. Generally the things I cannot change and the things those hurt a lot, I prefer to forget them. I have a habit of writing diary, but for last few years I don’t write those things which don’t want to remember. Even in this case I saw those faces which I thought I have forgotten. May be forgetting things are not the right way to live happily. May be I need to fight back and sort out the right treatment for my wounds.

I may sound little whimsical. What wounds? Who are they? Lot of questions are there but I just don’t want to disclose them. I don’t want to remind them. Only thing I can say that I am still fighting and my fight will end up when I establish myself in a position when I can go to their dream and make them suffer. Till then I have to fight.

These days I feel that I am hated by so many people. People who haven’t talked to me ever, who haven’t met me ever started hating me thinking that I have taken away the most precious goal of their life. Actually I have not taken away anything from anyone. But I cannot change anyone’s mind. Rather what I can do is I can enjoy the feeling and hope to have a win over them.

Some lessons from life

Generally April and May goes very fine for me. But this year, there is an exception. In some point of view it was great. And in some other aspects it was horrible. But that’s call life. Getting a job on the same day when I was cheated by a person whom I expected to be faithful, days with immense mental pressure, examination of mental strength and tolerance, resignation to my current company and then reverting back, a very hush and rough time with beloved one, and then reaching a stable position, suddenly kicked off from the flat I was staying and hectic flat search – and much more.

Actually I understood one thing from life in these days, when life gives you something, it try to take back equivalently and you have an option to go with what means more to you. It may sound little whimsical but life actually taught me some truth in a different way.

The first thing I learnt that “Never believe a person blindly”. Whoever it may. Blindness on faith will slap you one day. It may be now or may be after some time. Secondly “Don’t let the other person understand what you actually feel about him/her”. Once the other person got a clear idea about your feelings he/she doesn't have anything left to know about you. Third “See what has not happened because of you rather what has happened”. It will give the power to fight for you. It will help you to erase what all things hurt you extremely; it will help you to forget some bitter memories.

The fact is, I knew all these things, but don’t know why I forgot those things. Don’t know why I didn't apply those things on my life. So, as a punishment life slapped me hard. Gave me some sleepless nights. Gave some roaming nights and forced to pretend that I am living well. Cheating, breaking of commitments are very common these days and maybe I am little old fashioned in this game. I thought so many times to run with the world, I thought so many times that to bring myself on the same page but I don’t know what stopped me. Is that my anger? Is that my ethics? Is that my Love? Is that my truth? Is that my self-respect? I really don’t know.

Last two month I wrote so many things and then scratched. May be I don’t want to hold them back for a better feature. And truly all those sins got fed and I hope by time it will be removed as well. Now I understand the words of the peacock in Kungfu Panda 2 that “Wounds heal but scars never heal”. As a fan of The Panda, I will definitely let them go and choose who I am. Panda took some days and I am not stronger than him. So it will take a bit time. But surely I’ll erase all bitter memories.

Before finishing I would like to say that there are some challenges in my life that I’ll fulfill. 18^th Nov is going to be a big day of my life. If everything goes right, I’ll answer some people who really hated me. Being loved is a very good feeling, being hated is awesome if you know you gonna win over them. I see my fair chance of winning and so I’m loving it.

When Tones are not following Words

Realization happens certainly. And it happened to me last night that my voice modulations are different than what I speak. For an example I say a very serious topic in a casual tone, I joke in a serious tone, I share my romanticism with coverage of fun, I express joy with un-modulated tone and so on. It doesn’t mean that what I said is not what I meant, but may be this is became my drawback or may be my normality.

It was not like this before. Basically I am a very soft and romantic person. When I was in school my tones used to follow my words. Although I speak less but whatever I said they were modulated perfectly. I empathized people with soft voice, I cheered people with loud scream, I encouraged people with full of excitement. The day I entered college I don’t know why I started hiding my emotions. Since then this started. I started saying everything in a very casual way. Pretending that I am a cool guy and whatever happens nothing matters with me. After few days I started feeling that emotional talks are over-dramatic. Sentimental talks are just to grab attention. Only modulation that was so true for me is a very “cool-casual” tone. I started sharing my words with my diary. She didn’t demand any voice modulation.

When I joined wipro-bpo, I had special classes of voice modulation. How to speak to customer, how to empathize them, how to carry on small talks, fillers when I am performing some back-end job. I was told every time that I sounded artificial. I knew why. Till then I got used to the tone and modulation left me altogether. I started demanding from life, that the people around me will understand what I wish to tell rather following my tone. Some people did but not all. I came to realize that I need to be expressive again. A constant practice of pretending calm and cool actually made me that. So instead of understanding the lagging, I could not bring back my originality.

My trying is still on. I wish to follow the general rule of speaking. I wish to say serious words seriously. I wish to say loving words romantically. I wish to express my anger with scream. I wish to crack jokes with fun. I wish to shout while feeling uncomfortable and I wish to cry loud while I am in sorrow.

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Another end of year approaches. And now it's time to chalk out what I did, what I didn't do, what I failed to do. 2012 was a mix bag. Now while writing I actually cannot gather all the incidents but still if I ask myself some questions I hope I'll find some answer.

First things first. Do I have anything that I wished a lot but cannot achieve? Well, YES. I thought to change my job, but I couldn't. It's not that opportunity didn't arrive, I just restricted myself for upcoming promotion cycle. If it didn't turn up, maybe I'll think in some different way.

Now, what is the biggest achievement? - For me achieving is not just getting new things. An achievement can be holding back firmly what you love most. I held back tightly a relationship. Added to that I got a "Man of the Match" of a final game in Mindtree Premier League and "Man of the Match" in the first game of Maharashtra Kdira Tournament.

What is the biggest loss? - Ummm, cannot think of any. I usually forget these things very fast. But yes, one thing that hurts me that I didn't get any appreciation award for my work in my company. I am not such a bad worker I guess.

Biggest Strange? - My friend list didn't increase even by one. What happened to me? Am I becoming an un-social person or becoming so boring?

Things I want to change? - This year taken away one of my best pal. If I could have, I would have hold back Tamal and didn't let him die. Still his death is a mystery for me. Sometimes I feel that one day he will appear and will stand in front of me with a smile. That day I'll slap him hard and hug him tight.

No more questions as I don't remember everything. Just one thing I wish I could have handled well is the double meaning of "Friend". I really want to understand in a very clear way that what are the barrier of a friendship? Is it called friendship if one is in love with the other and the other is not? There are so many relations un-named. So this word "friendship" is miss-used. May be in the coming year I will find the proper answer.

Last but not the least, I want to write at the end of this coming year that I am Married. Lets see..

Vs. Depression

Depressed patients are increasing day by day. Doctors say that the reason behind it is stress. I somehow agree and somehow disagree. From the point a baby is born, parents start deciding what she gonna be. By the time she grows up a bit and spells her first word “Ma” parents started thinking that if my child can spell ‘Ma’ then she is capable of start with ‘A-B-C-D’ and start with education. Thus a child is pushed into the rat race.

Even I was a part of it. But my childhood was different than those kids who I see these days. Now day’s kids play in computer, PSP or they go to shopping mall to play bowling or video games. I wonder how many of them have walked barefoot on the ground.  How many of them played 4 times a day. I remember after my exams my daily schedule was, I used to get up 5.30 and rushed to field. I played cricket from 6 to 8 and then return home. Again around 10 I start peeping out of window that any of my friends is calling for the unfinished match. 10:15 max and I hit the ground and I played till 1.30 PM. My mom used to scold me why I am so late but instead of that I used to go to play. And then after lunch I eagerly wait to hear the 4Pm bell and again I rush to ground. From 4 to 6.30 there is a huge rush in the field. We arranged badminton or volleyball court and put on lights to play after dinner and from 10.30pm till 11.45 I used to play. And this schedule was not only for me, there were people who used to follow the same routine. I hardly believe a child of now can probably think of that. Playing was not a waste of time for me; it was a pleasure or peace of mind that gave me energy in my childhood days.

I somehow feel that our generation is the connector between two generation. A have seen sudden changes in life style. Sudden changes in thoughts. Suddenly younger generation started thinking older generations as back dated. And we became the connector. One leg is in old generation and one leg in new generation. We used to keep balance between these. We played in the ground; we played in shopping mall as well. We walked or cycled along through long road and also ride. We wrote letters to loved ones and also we e-mailed or sms-ed. We have seen time with no mobile or telephone and also time with MacBook and I-pad. I still remember the day when my father brought land line in our home. We were so happy to have a telephone connection. Now when a child cry or disturb his father while he is working in his laptop, he gave his mobile or pad to play around. It’s not a fault of parents, not at all fault of children too, it’s a generation.

Somehow the biggest issue that this generation going to face is ‘Depression’. I find the reason behind this is comparison. Comparison between two or comparison between many. He has something that I don’t have. They all have something why I don’t have that. This kind of comparison actually is the start of depression. People hardly think in the way that ‘He has something that I don’t have and I have something that he doesn’t have. So calculation is equal’. Unhappiness with what a person has with him these days, making them unhappy. And from there depression starts. Constant comparison, race, less sleep, less exercise, junk foods, crap movies, low quality time pass all make a people depressed. And over that people find out ways to get out of the depression with alcohol or drugs. These actually push a person deeper to dark.

I sometime become depressed and I follow some steps to have control over my mind. I wake up very early; feel the cool and clean breeze. I take a long walk or jog sometime with deep breathing and see old couple walking along or seating in the chairs beside the roads. They smile and greet ‘Good Morning’ wish and I also greet them and feel that I smiled from my heart. I walk with no electronic devices around. After returning home I meditate for 30mins. And then take a long bath. I don’t say that this way is gonna work for everyone. But I do say that everybody must find their way out from depression. I found my way. But it’s also true that I don’t use this regularly. J

Re-Birth

He said he will be back one day. He will be with his loved one day. He has this dream of walking with his loved one holding her finger. At that point of time I thought his wishes were childlike. But yesterday a strange thing happened.

It’s a story about a simple guy. A small town guy with lot of dreams in his eyes. I met him in my English batch. From my childhood days I used to be a back bencher.  And I always feel comfortable within back benchers. He was also kind of same. Not so studious rather he was a great liar. Instead of all we became friends and he shared all his concerns, joys with me. He fall in love with one of our batch mates and yes, she was pretty. Exams were close and the girl was studious. So they could not explore themselves at the starting of their relationship. After the exam it was around 3 months when they explored themselves well and I thought they are in a position to carry it through out their life. Then result came and the girl scored high but my friend failed.

Now let’s jump to some months later. One day my friend came to me and said that the girl doesn't to continue the relation. She has given some reasons but I understood that the failure in exam is the main cause. I had no words to sympathies. The girl left the town and moved somewhere for higher studies. My friend also moved to Delhi. While leaving he said, “One day I will be back here. And you will see me walking holding her fingers. I will always be with her and she will love me one day more than her life.” It’s been 10 years but still his words are so clear to me.

Within these years, life moved with its flow. So many things happened. Seen so many relationships built up and broke. But he remained same. Dreaming of one girl only. Holding tight his dreams to get back to his own town and to be with her. Within these 10 years the girl changed his boyfriend for thrice but my friend was stick to his dreams. One fine evening the girl got married and my friend cried hard. I said let your dream go. Move on. He denied. And one evening I got a call from a friend that ‘HE’ died in an accident. I could have expressed his dead in a very different manner but I said straight because the story doesn't end here. Truly when I heard the news, I thought may be his dreams will end up with the end of my friend. But perhaps dreams are stronger than practicality.

Yesterday, in a fine Diwali morning I was checking my Facebook page and suddenly I saw an update of the girl. She posted a picture of her with her new born child. Within a flash I heard my friend’s words. Within a moment I realized he is back. The way he told only. I can imagine him walking along with her holding fingers. I can imagine that he is loved by the girl more than her life. I do not believe in re-birth but may be now onward I’ll start believing.

Welcome my dear friend. You always had a different way of thinking. From now onward I will not sympathies your death, rather I’ll rejoice your re-birth. Welcome Back.

Unknown

It’s been a time when I am not meeting expectations. I try to have complain free time, but how much I try I get complain for not fulfilling the expectation. I always thought why I cannot be a world to someone. But recently I am realizing that I am not worth to become a world to someone.

No a days I feel that I am becoming expression less. I am loosing myself. Somehow when I stand in front of mirror, I find myself unknown. Its very hard feelings when a person becomes unknown to himself. And I am experiencing that time.

No matter what, No matter how I will change this. I will become as I was before. I don’t blame anyone. But may be time is playing with me at this moment and I am dancing with the beats. I don’t have hold on my life at this moment. It’s just flowing. But I wish that very soon, I will get the control and then may be everything will be all right.

Its Him

Whatever he has achieved, he achieved by hard work and not by luck. Luck played a good role in his life. And he became lucky for 3 times in his entire life. 1^st when the education loan got cleared, 2^nd when he got a job and third when he found a mobile from a cinema hall.

 He, a small town guy, always had a dream to become rich. He wanted to be a software engineer not because he loves software, rather through this line a person become establish within short time. A guy who has immense knack on regional language, singing, playing left all those things behind and ran after money. Becoming an engineer was somehow by his own choice and somehow not. A mediocre family of three people, a truthful father with no big dreams and a son-blind mother with huge expectations on his son pushed him to leave a cultural career behind and jump into a so called mechanical world. He was happy. He never pointed his fate for in-fortune.

Time played with him time to time. He never asked “Why ME”, rather he asked himself “How to get rid?” But now days, I find a change in him. Who always suggested his friends how to get rid of frustration, is now getting frustrated. Who always said “Give time some time”, now losing his patience. Who has hundred ways to tackle situation, now gets puzzled. He finds answer. But he doesn't have the right question to ask.

I have seen him very closely. Hardly any people have seen him so close. I fear, if same situation continues, he might lose the game. He might hang up the tune of life. He might fly from the war of life. Now a day I find a “Youthenesia” tendency in him. But in our country mercy killing is not been granted. So I fear may be some day he might think, “Enough is enough”.

Mix-Bag Mid-Sep

It’s hard to scratch a name, when you understand that you do not hold a position to become somebody. A month with mix bag scenarios, mixed emotions and a small achievement. Standing at the mid of September, I feel something I have gained and something I lost. A box cricket tournament in our office which gave me some lime light and I got the trophy of Champions, Man of the Match and Man of the Series. On the other half I lost a friend.

Time balances everything in life. But don’t know I am not at all comfortable with the balancing. It always balances in such way that takes away my joy of achievement. After few days I start feeling that might be the opposite scenario would have helped me more.

I know I am sounding foggy. It’s simply because I am finding some answers. Why life always play with me in such a way that I has to accept the hard truth. And once life decides something, why I cannot change that?

Dear Time, I am asking for a comfort zone from you. You have always been hard with me. You always taken away everything that I liked a lot. This time please keep them safe. Please don’t take it away.

Amazing August