Sometimes things which
we wish to forget, and believe that they are erased from our memory; they come
at night to ruin the sleep. Dreams can keep you alive, at the same time drams
can bother you when you start feeling that you have overcome your wounds. I don’t
know whether it happens with me only, or happens with everyone. I am a very
simple guy, so I don’t expect un-natural things to be happening with me.
Yesterday I experienced
quite similar feeling. It was a champion trophy win by India over England and
as a cricket fan I was happy with the victory. I went to sleep with a smile but
the moment I tried to fall asleep I saw some faces laughing at me. Faces I am
familiar with, faces I have never met but they are very much known, Faces I
hated most came to my dream to make me feel that I am still not over with the
wounds that life gave to me. Generally the things I cannot change and the
things those hurt a lot, I prefer to forget them. I have a habit of writing
diary, but for last few years I don’t write those things which don’t want to
remember. Even in this case I saw those faces which I thought I have forgotten.
May be forgetting things are not the right way to live happily. May be I need
to fight back and sort out the right treatment for my wounds.
I may sound little
whimsical. What wounds? Who are they? Lot of questions are there but I just
don’t want to disclose them. I don’t want to remind them. Only thing I can say
that I am still fighting and my fight will end up when I establish myself in a
position when I can go to their dream and make them suffer. Till then I have to
fight.
These days I feel that I
am hated by so many people. People who haven’t talked to me ever, who haven’t
met me ever started hating me thinking that I have taken away the most precious
goal of their life. Actually I have not taken away anything from anyone. But I
cannot change anyone’s mind. Rather what I can do is I can enjoy the feeling
and hope to have a win over them.
