Generally April and May goes very fine for me. But this
year, there is an exception. In some point of view it was great. And in some
other aspects it was horrible. But that’s call life. Getting a job on the same
day when I was cheated by a person whom I expected to be faithful, days with immense
mental pressure, examination of mental strength and tolerance, resignation to
my current company and then reverting back, a very hush and rough time with
beloved one, and then reaching a stable position, suddenly kicked off from the
flat I was staying and hectic flat search – and much more.
Actually I understood one thing from life in these days,
when life gives you something, it try to take back equivalently and you have an
option to go with what means more to you. It may sound little whimsical but
life actually taught me some truth in a different way.
The first thing I learnt that “Never believe a person
blindly”. Whoever it may. Blindness on faith will slap you one day. It may be
now or may be after some time. Secondly “Don’t let the other person understand
what you actually feel about him/her”. Once the other person got a clear idea
about your feelings he/she doesn't have anything left to know about you. Third “See
what has not happened because of you rather what has happened”. It will give
the power to fight for you. It will help you to erase what all things hurt you extremely;
it will help you to forget some bitter memories.
The fact is, I knew all these things, but don’t know why I forgot
those things. Don’t know why I didn't apply those things on my life. So, as a
punishment life slapped me hard. Gave me some sleepless nights. Gave some
roaming nights and forced to pretend that I am living well. Cheating, breaking
of commitments are very common these days and maybe I am little old fashioned in
this game. I thought so many times to run with the world, I thought so many
times that to bring myself on the same page but I don’t know what stopped me.
Is that my anger? Is that my ethics? Is that my Love? Is that my truth? Is that
my self-respect? I really don’t know.
Last two month I wrote so many things and then scratched.
May be I don’t want to hold them back for a better feature. And truly all those
sins got fed and I hope by time it will be removed as well. Now I understand
the words of the peacock in Kungfu Panda 2 that “Wounds heal but scars never
heal”. As a fan of The Panda, I will definitely let them go and choose who I
am. Panda took some days and I am not stronger than him. So it will take a bit
time. But surely I’ll erase all bitter memories.
Before finishing I would like to say that there are some
challenges in my life that I’ll fulfill. 18th Nov is going to be a
big day of my life. If everything goes right, I’ll answer some people who
really hated me. Being loved is a very good feeling, being hated is awesome if
you know you gonna win over them. I see my fair chance of winning and so I’m
loving it.
