Vs. Depression

Depressed patients are increasing day by day. Doctors say that the reason behind it is stress. I somehow agree and somehow disagree. From the point a baby is born, parents start deciding what she gonna be. By the time she grows up a bit and spells her first word “Ma” parents started thinking that if my child can spell ‘Ma’ then she is capable of start with ‘A-B-C-D’ and start with education. Thus a child is pushed into the rat race.

Even I was a part of it. But my childhood was different than those kids who I see these days. Now day’s kids play in computer, PSP or they go to shopping mall to play bowling or video games. I wonder how many of them have walked barefoot on the ground.  How many of them played 4 times a day. I remember after my exams my daily schedule was, I used to get up 5.30 and rushed to field. I played cricket from 6 to 8 and then return home. Again around 10 I start peeping out of window that any of my friends is calling for the unfinished match. 10:15 max and I hit the ground and I played till 1.30 PM. My mom used to scold me why I am so late but instead of that I used to go to play. And then after lunch I eagerly wait to hear the 4Pm bell and again I rush to ground. From 4 to 6.30 there is a huge rush in the field. We arranged badminton or volleyball court and put on lights to play after dinner and from 10.30pm till 11.45 I used to play. And this schedule was not only for me, there were people who used to follow the same routine. I hardly believe a child of now can probably think of that. Playing was not a waste of time for me; it was a pleasure or peace of mind that gave me energy in my childhood days.

I somehow feel that our generation is the connector between two generation. A have seen sudden changes in life style. Sudden changes in thoughts. Suddenly younger generation started thinking older generations as back dated. And we became the connector. One leg is in old generation and one leg in new generation. We used to keep balance between these. We played in the ground; we played in shopping mall as well. We walked or cycled along through long road and also ride. We wrote letters to loved ones and also we e-mailed or sms-ed. We have seen time with no mobile or telephone and also time with MacBook and I-pad. I still remember the day when my father brought land line in our home. We were so happy to have a telephone connection. Now when a child cry or disturb his father while he is working in his laptop, he gave his mobile or pad to play around. It’s not a fault of parents, not at all fault of children too, it’s a generation.

Somehow the biggest issue that this generation going to face is ‘Depression’. I find the reason behind this is comparison. Comparison between two or comparison between many. He has something that I don’t have. They all have something why I don’t have that. This kind of comparison actually is the start of depression. People hardly think in the way that ‘He has something that I don’t have and I have something that he doesn’t have. So calculation is equal’. Unhappiness with what a person has with him these days, making them unhappy. And from there depression starts. Constant comparison, race, less sleep, less exercise, junk foods, crap movies, low quality time pass all make a people depressed. And over that people find out ways to get out of the depression with alcohol or drugs. These actually push a person deeper to dark.

I sometime become depressed and I follow some steps to have control over my mind. I wake up very early; feel the cool and clean breeze. I take a long walk or jog sometime with deep breathing and see old couple walking along or seating in the chairs beside the roads. They smile and greet ‘Good Morning’ wish and I also greet them and feel that I smiled from my heart. I walk with no electronic devices around. After returning home I meditate for 30mins. And then take a long bath. I don’t say that this way is gonna work for everyone. But I do say that everybody must find their way out from depression. I found my way. But it’s also true that I don’t use this regularly. J

Re-Birth

He said he will be back one day. He will be with his loved one day. He has this dream of walking with his loved one holding her finger. At that point of time I thought his wishes were childlike. But yesterday a strange thing happened.

It’s a story about a simple guy. A small town guy with lot of dreams in his eyes. I met him in my English batch. From my childhood days I used to be a back bencher.  And I always feel comfortable within back benchers. He was also kind of same. Not so studious rather he was a great liar. Instead of all we became friends and he shared all his concerns, joys with me. He fall in love with one of our batch mates and yes, she was pretty. Exams were close and the girl was studious. So they could not explore themselves at the starting of their relationship. After the exam it was around 3 months when they explored themselves well and I thought they are in a position to carry it through out their life. Then result came and the girl scored high but my friend failed.

Now let’s jump to some months later. One day my friend came to me and said that the girl doesn't to continue the relation. She has given some reasons but I understood that the failure in exam is the main cause. I had no words to sympathies. The girl left the town and moved somewhere for higher studies. My friend also moved to Delhi. While leaving he said, “One day I will be back here. And you will see me walking holding her fingers. I will always be with her and she will love me one day more than her life.” It’s been 10 years but still his words are so clear to me.

Within these years, life moved with its flow. So many things happened. Seen so many relationships built up and broke. But he remained same. Dreaming of one girl only. Holding tight his dreams to get back to his own town and to be with her. Within these 10 years the girl changed his boyfriend for thrice but my friend was stick to his dreams. One fine evening the girl got married and my friend cried hard. I said let your dream go. Move on. He denied. And one evening I got a call from a friend that ‘HE’ died in an accident. I could have expressed his dead in a very different manner but I said straight because the story doesn't end here. Truly when I heard the news, I thought may be his dreams will end up with the end of my friend. But perhaps dreams are stronger than practicality.

Yesterday, in a fine Diwali morning I was checking my Facebook page and suddenly I saw an update of the girl. She posted a picture of her with her new born child. Within a flash I heard my friend’s words. Within a moment I realized he is back. The way he told only. I can imagine him walking along with her holding fingers. I can imagine that he is loved by the girl more than her life. I do not believe in re-birth but may be now onward I’ll start believing.

Welcome my dear friend. You always had a different way of thinking. From now onward I will not sympathies your death, rather I’ll rejoice your re-birth. Welcome Back.

Unknown

It’s been a time when I am not meeting expectations. I try to have complain free time, but how much I try I get complain for not fulfilling the expectation. I always thought why I cannot be a world to someone. But recently I am realizing that I am not worth to become a world to someone.

No a days I feel that I am becoming expression less. I am loosing myself. Somehow when I stand in front of mirror, I find myself unknown. Its very hard feelings when a person becomes unknown to himself. And I am experiencing that time.

No matter what, No matter how I will change this. I will become as I was before. I don’t blame anyone. But may be time is playing with me at this moment and I am dancing with the beats. I don’t have hold on my life at this moment. It’s just flowing. But I wish that very soon, I will get the control and then may be everything will be all right.